Sheva Brachot: The After-Party with Meaning

Close friends of ours just got married in Israel! Unfortunately, we were not there to celebrate. But we offered to host Sheva Brachot in our house the morning after we land from the US (we're set to arrive late the night before). We are very excited and honored. So I wanted to take the opportunity to share a little more about this special and beautiful custom (yes it is custom and not an obligation — more on that below).

"Sheva brachot" means seven blessings. These are the seven blessings for the bride and groom and their union said during the chuppah ceremony. It is custom to honor male family members, distinguished guests, or close friends with saying a blessing, but the rabbi leading the ceremony can also read all of the blessings instead. This ceremony ends with the couple drinking grape juice or wine.

These blessings are repeated at the end of the festive meal of the wedding, as part of the Birkat Hamazon, the grace after meals. This is an additional opportunity for the couple to honor family and guests. The last blessing of the seven is the blessing for wine and the couple drink once again.

Then, in the week following the wedding, the couple convenes another festive meal on each of the seven days after the wedding. Originally, the idea was that the community supported the newly married couple. Most often there were arranged marriages, and this eased the couple into their new life together with the support of the wider community, supporting them socially, as well as with meals during their first week of marriage.

Today, the idea of this gathering is to have friends and family who could not be at the wedding host the newly married couple and celebrate with them. There needs to be at least one new face at this celebration and for it to be Sheva Brachot, there needs to be a minyan (ten men present at the meal). This is because during each one of these celebrations the Sheva Brachot are recited as part of the Birkat Hamazon, just as is done during the wedding, when a minyan is also required.

It is important for me to stress that this lovely custom, which elevates the celebration, is by no means an obligation. Personally, John and I did four out of seven Sheva Brachot and only two had a minyan. I was four months into my first year of shlichut, being an Israeli emissary in Maryland, and we got married in Israel and traveled back to the U.S. only two days after our wedding! Below is a short clip from one of the Sheva Brachot we did in the U.S., with a couple we knew who insisted on hosting us. It was really meaningful and we will never forget it.

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